Whoa what a terrible loss of momentum. Or we could look at it as what incredible momentum I have with my bad habits. Those guys are unstoppable! Now just to swap them out with good ones like Indiana Jones did at the start of that one movie. What does that make the giant boulder a metaphor for then? All the stacked past versions of myself?
Today I'm working on Ella's boxcar. Trying to make sure not to over-dad it. She was pretty adamant and clear about wanting to do it herself. I'm just trying to walk that line of easing her along towards finishing a project and learning the satisfaction of doing and making things. Instead of the micro-dopamine cigarette drag of endlessly starting things then starting other things then starting other things. The high of untested potential. Oh what a buzzkill when the testing begins and collapses all possibilities into an inexorable totem of who you truly are ie. self sitting upon a throne of collected junk "project" guitars and unread books. BUT ONWARD! We move on and don't rehabituate the catharsis of confession, the masked unconscious idea that by owning up to failure you are somehow absolved of failure. "The first step is admitting you have a problem."
THEN THERE ARE A BUNCH OF OTHER STEPS THAT FOLLOW YOU GOON!
So lets make some coffee, finish my part of the boxcar (which we discussed and agreed upon today) then look at finances and groom for work.
The clock is ticking goonie.
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